How you remind me of bad music
illustration by Maria Rondon
Nickelback: Canada’s unfortunate ambassadors
AMONG THE VARIOUS “best-of”s that tagged along with the arrival of 2010, Billboard magazine presented rock band Nickelback with the “Band of the Decade” title in an online feature. I read this and asked myself, “Really? Nickelback is the soundtrack to the last 10 years of my life?” At this point I cringed, and my skin crawled. Nickelback is one of the most terrible bands to ever linger over the music scene. And what’s worse? They’re Canadian.
I was surprised back in 2001 when Nickelback burst onto the scene and took some international attention away from Celine Dion. But then their next song came out and it sounded like the last one, but a bit worse. And their next album came out and it sounded like the last one, but a bit worse. At least Dion has a few different-sounding songs. Nickelback has successfully recorded the same song 12 times on six different albums and beaten the world into a lethargic stupor with it over the last 10 years.
And really it’s not just that the songs sound the same. They all say the same thing too. There is no variety in subject matter beyond objectifying women and partying. Generally speaking, their songs just make you want to throw up in your mouth. The ninth season of American Idol is more original. The biggest change over the last decade is probably singer/guitarist Chad Kroeger’s decision to straighten his greasy locks. The formula for every song is as follows: generic drum beat + simple, overly distorted guitar riff + equally simple acoustic guitar riff + Kroeger’s awful Cher-after-eight-beers-voice singing lyrics like, “What the hell is on Joey’s head?”= hit song + 12 Juno awards.
Not only am I disgusted with the Juno Awards for the truckload of awards they reserve for Nickelback every year, but it pains me to know that this sub-par, unoriginal band is what the world recognizes as the best of Canadian music. It devalues the award, and more importantly, it devalues Canada. To the international community, Canada is defined by what it produces. Thus, if Nickelback is supposed to be our champion in the international music scene, do we really have any hope of being taken seriously artistically? Not if Kroeger is allowed to continue writing songs like “Something in Your Mouth.” I just hope they don’t release a holiday album and ruin Christmas too.
The saddest thing is that artists like Tegan and Sara, Matthew Good, Stars, Broken Social Scene, Metric, and many other Canadian bands who are actually talented and creative, and attempt to say important things with their music will never receive the recognition they deserve because of Nickelback and Nickelback-clones like Default and Theory of a Deadman. In presenting Nickelback as Canada’s best band, the Junos and Billboard are saying: “This is Canada.”
This isn’t Canada. This is an embarrassment.
