Sexy haikus
illustration by Maria Rondon
Bra won’t come undone Have second-base frustration Wear the front-clasp one. —Alexandra Schwabe
Whoever claimed that Guys ponder sex more than girls Never got any —Emma Godmere
Chocolate or men? The latter lies; the former Just tastes really good. —Laurel Hogan
I know you want to… But you will not last. This once, Eat me out instead. —Alexandra Schwabe
Ode to pubic hair: Landing strip, bikini, bare. Please, just not a bush. —Alexandra Schwabe
Here’s the bottom line: I’m a hot commodity Twitter me. Love, Di. —Di Daniels
Let’s play this game where you pretend to love me and I pretend to come. —Amira Elmi
Hot and sweaty times Heavy breathing, I’m all damp Good pilates class. —Laurel Hogan
I am drunk as fuck Ready to get hot, heavy Alas, it is limp —David McClelland
Seriously, what’s The deal with tentacle porn? Too far, anime. —Laurel Hogan
Your belt won’t come loose “Only you can get it off” Yeah, that’s what she said —Emma Godmere
Awake: hangover Roll over to ask her name Awkward breakfast time —David McClelland
