Dear Di...
Dear Di,
I am a 21-year-old, smart, athletic guy, and think that I am pretty good-looking. I like to go out often and meet new girls at clubs/pubs. Recently, on one of my nights out, a girl danced with me for two minutes and stormed away saying I couldn’t dance. Nobody has ever told me this and her comment made me question myself. I never thought dancing mattered so much; all girls do is grind anyways. What should I do without taking any dance classes?
—Footloose
Dear Footloose,
I’d say you need to take a step out of the strobe lights and get some perspective. The real problem here isn’t what your hit-and-run dance partner had to say about your booty-shaking skills, but how much you’re letting it bother you. It sounds to me like you go out a lot, and you don’t seem to have any trouble getting attention from the ladies. So why let this stuck-up senorita shake up your confidence? If this is the only time a girl has ever taken issue with your talent on the dance floor, don’t take her harsh words seriously. Keep in mind, she was probably loaded, not to mention in need of an attitude adjustment—chances are she wasn’t busting out any mind-blowing moves herself. Don’t let this honey’s hurtful words get you down. Next time you step out on the dance floor, don’t try to impress anyone. Just feel the music and have some fun. As long as you keep your confidence intact and don’t let anyone make you second-guess yourself, believe me, the ladies will love you.
Love, Di
Dear Di,
I am 18 years-old and have not gotten anywhere sexually in my life because I am too self-conscious about the size of my junk. I am quite sociable and all and I do have relationships, but when it comes down to getting busy I usually opt to go down on the girl rather than the other way. I feel like if I don’t get over this fear of what girls will think of my size, I will end up being a virgin forever. What do I do?
—Worrying Too Much?
Dear WTM,
Ah, sounds like a classic case of penis panic. While it’s not uncommon for a guy to perceive his unit as undersized, this concern is often unsupported by the facts and, truthfully, an issue of little importance to most women. In fact, the right combination of foreplay and stimulation can make a woman worship a smaller penis just as much as a larger one. First off, some stats to put your mind at ease: studies have placed the average length of an erect penis somewhere between 5.5 and 6.3 inches, while average girth—considered by many women to be more crucial than length in getting them off—ranges from 4.7 to 5.1 inches. If you still think you’ve got the short end of the stick, don’t worry, there are a number of things you can do to supplement your size—things guys endowed with larger members tend to overlook. Never underestimate the value of foreplay, as the closer your partner is to climax at the start of intercourse, the easier it will be for her to come during sex. When it comes to doing the deed, opt for positions that make any guy’s member feel huge—doggie-style and variations of the missionary position that get her legs up over her head are good places to start. Keep in mind that sex is more than just penetration, so be sure to take advantage of the easy access these positions give you to her clitoris, where a little rubbing can go a long way. And always remember: it’s not the size that matters; it’s how you use it!
Love, Di
If you have a question for Di, email deardi@thefulcrum.ca.
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My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Since I got busy with studies over the last year, we communicated less but my love for her never decreased. Now she wants to marry a guy who she only met a few times, who proposed to her and she said yes. She still loves me and will always love me, she said. But she also said that she doesnt want to marry me as she thinks we will not be happy together due to our minor differences. I have been trying to convince her and even proposed to her but she said its too late. What should I do?